Calm down America, it has been much worse before, ever heard of The Civil War?
We are currently at day 17 since the last time I’ve seen my daughter, and the stupid calendar tells me it is going to be another six before she gets to return to her native soil. To remind everybody how asinine this is would just be a repeat in redundancy so I’ll spare you the details. Never mind, I’m still slightly ticked off that WordPress decided to go all Miley Cyrus on me this week and hit this site “Like A Wrecking Ball” for two days. So, I’m going to vent for a sec! If I have said it once, I have said it 2,000,000 times, how or why in the hell can a stranger who only knows me because my name appears on their docket determine that a child can relocate against her wishes!
Why must a dad that has been as active as possible in his child’s life (even with distance as a major factor) go 23 freaking days without seeing his child? In what world is this remotely acceptable? Why do I have to put up with shenanigans from a baby mamma that I can only combat in court? I’m completely done with funding area lawyers’ country club dues for representation that amounts to them telling me to “quit blogging” because you are in contempt for the minutest of details. When in the hell does common freaking sense factor into parenting? There is a reason lawyers drive a Lexus as a “second” vehicle and live in houses that cost more than the GDP of Haiti. Ok, rant over, I’ll never understand family law and if I ever do, someone shoot me, because it’s not fair in the least bit for men that “actively” want to be in their child(s) live unless they are heirs to the Walton fortune.
With no Sloane around I started reading another chapter of the Blogging Abridged Dictionary Volume III. Per it I’m supposed to mention that we just held Inauguration Day here in the states (in case you haven’t heard and in that case, you probably aren’t reading any online content anyway) and Agent Orange is now my president. Not my first choice by any means, or second, or third, but at the end of the day, he is the president. I’m not remotely diving into this lightning rod of potential hate mail and turning this post into material for a Columbia University political science debate.
Instead I will say, what in the hell happened to peaceful protesting? Good lord, I saw footage of people walking down the streets with hammers. I’m sure downtown Washington D.C. isn’t exactly the site for you to be building little Timmy his next treehouse, furthermore, a hammer brings peace to nobody but the final resting spot for a nail. Last I saw, 100 morons had already been arrested and I’m sure there will be much more. Showing up to a protest like you just channeled your inner kleptomaniac at Home Depot sounds more like soon to be vandalism, and of course you idiots didn’t disappoint.
I think Thomas Jefferson did a complete belly roll in his grave on Inauguration Day.
I’m sure there were plenty of people on various corners yelling “Dump Trump” or whatever else was trendy and minding their own business, bitching about D.C. area Starbucks, and taking selfies for their friends in Rhode Island. This is known as peaceful protesting, or if you want to get technical since I’m sure none of you know The Constitution, the right to assemble. My fiancee (do I stick to that or keep her name as Miss Madison on here…, Joey can I get an answer on this) knows The Constitution like Father Flanagan knew the King James Bible. She assured me that nowhere in this sacred document does it say people have the right to turn Washington D.C. into Grand Theft Auto: The D.C. Mission edition.
We celebrate Halloween on the last day of October, not January 20th. If you want to dress up like a wannabe member of Seal Team Six, wait until then to do it. Otherwise, you chicken shits, lose the face paint and all black attire. It’s one thing to act like a tough guy/girl busting out windows and torching cars. To do it in anonymity just makes you look like a freaking punk. To the person that knocked out the windows at the area McDonald’s: When your Happy Meal goes up a quarter to cover damages and lost wages for employees during the future renovation, I’m sure you will be the first one to hit Facebook and cry about the injustice of paying more for your four-piece nuggets meal. Just don’t tell me you’re a Millennial, or I will turn into “Get off my lawn” guy!
Usually, after every presidential election, roughly 45%-50% of the population isn’t happy with the outcome. This has been going on since the beginning of organized elections! We don’t go around destroying other people’s property because we are mad at an outcome. The first person that says Donald Trump incites this kind of behavior, I call bullshit. He has done and said some brutally ridiculous things if this causes you to want to be cast as an extra in the future remake of “Menace II Society,” you need help. I didn’t get my way when I lost my custody battle in 2015, but did I go stomp on a kitten or practice my spray painting talent on an area overpass? The answer would be no, I just blogged about it in my own little peaceful sector of the internet that breaks no criminal laws and is voluntarily visited.
Skipah the marketer will now say if you want to become a blogger, buy my “How to Blog” package for $29.95 on Shopify. It will more than likely land you in court, but after your arrest and recovery from tear gas burns, you will be no stranger to the inside of a courtroom. If you don’t feel like you are ready to be “A Bigly Blogger,” then I would suggest you try out Jason’s WordPress Tutorial for $28.75 at a local Walmart.
About it for now, my fiancée is now starting class with me on Amendment Two of the Bill of Rights in our impromptu Constitution sessions. I always thought the right to bear arms meant it was completely ok for me to walk around in public with grizzly bear paws as mittens. I always wondered why I got such strange looks from people when I explained how I got them.