Surviving!

Snow, cold, rain, warmer weather, and biblical rain = FLOODING!  The mighty Ohio River is getting larger and larger by the day.  We get one of these “river” episodes every five years or so.  Personally, I blame Pittsburgh (where the Ohio River begins), because I don’t like the Pirates or the Steelers and it’s MY blog so they are getting the blame!

I’m well enough inland that it won’t affect me, but I’ve known many people over the years that have had to replace their carpet and furniture as well as pay higher flood insurance premiums because Mother Nature knows no boundaries.  Prayers go out to all of them that it won’t get as bad as it appears it’s going to be.  Such is life on the “river,” as the mini cult of aquatic nomads go by.

I’ve mentioned in previous posts that I have actively sought out divorce groups online to offer my help to the poor souls that unfortunately have to experience the pitfalls of divorce.  Well, this evening I came across a story about a man who was pretty much me this time last year.  Granted his story was from four years ago, and sadly, his results had the intended consequences.

It was just a dated post on a divorce community website that his friend had published looking for answers as to why he had lost his friend, “What would make someone do this to himself?” This man’s friend learned of losing his high school sweet heart. After 25 years of marriage and two children, in their teens, he didn’t have the will to live once he found out that she was leaving him for someone else.  He was successful with asingle gunshot to the head. To answer his friend, I would say until you have been inside that rabbit hole you have no idea!

June 20th, 2014, was the worst and best thing to ever happen to me.  In times of adversity (present day), I think back to the three days at a facility wondering what in the hell I was going to do. I draw inner strength from that, knowing it could have always been worse.  One day my never-ending cycle of shitty luck is going to end, I truly believe this!  Until it does though, my resolve will always stay strong.

I’m a survivor and a warrior, I have a new set of values that keep me on keel.  This isn’t a “come to Jesus” moment either, this is the new me because I was able to teach my daughter how to ride a bike, I was able to take her to her first Reds game (albeit I wasn’t exactly “there” mentally), I was able to see the joy in her eyes as she made it down the bunny slope when we went skiing, and honestly, the only thing I wasn’t truly able to enjoy with her was her birthday party.  I wasn’t in a position to host my own party and I wasn’t “allowed” at the other one.

I want no man to go through what I went through, but unfortunately, I can’t prevent it from happening.  But, if I can reach out to just one man though, I feel like I’ve done my job.  I could list 29 reasons or so that I’m here for you my fellow man as it’s now a calling in life and I’m more than ready to help you out!

I’m not going to blow sunshine up your ass because it sucks to go through it, but nobody is worth ending it all!  It doesn’t get better right away, and I can’t tell you when it does, because I’m not fully there yet and it’s not because of my emotions either.  Divorce is expensive and custody battles make it even more expensive! Just be the best father you can be though and you will love waking up every day knowing you have done all you can.

I’m more than likely going back to court in the near future. This truly is the “war that never seems to end.” But, I’m not in the wrong this time.  I was really hoping I wouldn’t have to play lawyer again, but I may have no choice. I may get a ruling in my favor or I may not. If I don’t, it won’t deter me either.

Why? Because as of June 20th, I’ve earned the absolute eternal love of my daughter and nothing that can happen in court can take that away from me! Not that I didn’t have it before, but it’s now solidified in concrete.  No matter how much I see or don’t see her I rest easy at night knowing she misses me and can’t wait until we get to “have fun” again.

If I get a couple of things to go my way this blog is about to take on some minor changes. With a weekly Q & A about all things local that I’m looking forward to not only for my local readers, but for everyone else who will get to see the inner workings of southern Indiana a little more.  If it doesn’t work out… Well, you still get my prized insight into… Nothing really, but I thank you for reading anyway!  Didn’t have the humor button pressed tonight as some nights I just have to “Let it Go.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

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10 Comments

  1. I enjoy discovering one of your older posts, especially knowing now how this GS have turned out for you.

  2. Pingback: A Most Expensive Holiday

  3. Pingback: Bloggerhood Etc. 3/23/15 | Fatherhood Etc.

  4. That’s a very sad story, so glad you are doing all right. Hope that river doesn’t get too high!

  5. Thanks, got some rough waters up ahead

  6. Dads are the greatest gift, no matter how much or little time us daughters get to spend with them!
    You will always be the number one guy in that girls life… even when she’s running down her wedding isle!
    Make sure she knows you love her and she sure as hell will return that favor, that’s what is Daddies Girls do!
    Great blog, and I wish you all the luck in this journey your life is currently taking!

  7. Hopefully you are never in that rabbit hole, thanks for the support! Daughters are the best (ask me again in 7-9 years), but my little mini me does make me feel super human.

  8. That’s a sad story told all too often about the man you mentioned. Glad to see you’re up and running now, and seeking to help others! I’ll always be rooting for you, and look forward to seeing what’s going on in your neck of the woods with your Q&A.

    Keep going strong and loving that little girl of yours! Daughters seem to give us dads more power than Superman, huh?

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