Tapping Into The Brain

Miss Madison’s new hobby.  Hopefully, she doesn’t leave me for the ghost of Gene Kelly

Thank you to everyone that has responded to my guest blogging requests, I look forward to posting them all in a timely manner!  Something else has come up that seeks immediate attention in the Skipahsphere.  Next week when I’m knocking back Jose Cuervo with my Kansas City & Las Vegas mafioso dads while getting a new nipple ring and some bitching ink in Tijuana…. crap I didn’t delete that in time, Miss Madison it was only for humor sake!  I meant to say while next week attending the Dads 2.0 Summit in sunny San Diego pissing off my frigid Midwestern neighbors on Facebook with selfies of me overdosing on the sun and 70-degree weather (hey, I got a new Selfie Stick for Christmas what better time to use it) and enjoying a “bro” week, a certain someone will be getting me back the only way she knows how!

The only snow I expect to see is me polishing off a sno-cone!

Under the threat of sleeping in the treehouse that I haven’t built yet, Miss Madison apparently has a few things to get off of her chest and is commandeering the Skipah ship while I’m out next week.  My little digital man cave is going feminine for a few days.  No pictures of monster trucks or sports related content is going to be allowed.  I have no earthly idea what she is going to do, but since I value waking up in the morning without a meat cleaver lodged in my vestibulocochlear nerve, I’ll do what I’m told.  I know you just clicked on that link, you are thinking Skipah just became a brain surgeon aren’t you?  My checking account would tell you otherwise, lets just call this Skipah’s “big word” of the day.

Since I foolishly gave her the top secret ingredients to my digital recipe, she has unfiltered access to the inner intel that is my web page.  Of course, I could always change the password but reference the previous paragraph.  Changing of the password without first telling her could possibly cause a serious case of the lazy eye after she cauterizes my oculomotor nerve.  One thing is clear after this post, you are going to wow your co-workers with your knowledge of the brain, or they are going to call you a blathering idiot and recommend you find something else to read online.

I would suggest the succulent poetry of J.C. in Denver.  His book of poems should launch in sometime in March of 2023, and trust me you don’t want to miss it!  If learning various parts of the brain isn’t your thing, maybe the vlogging skills of Charlotte Danny are enough to steer you away from here.  Trademark is pending I’ve been told for the name of Charlotte Danny.  Either way, I won’t care next week.  I live in Indiana, it’s February, and I’ll be wearing shorts and eating fresh fish tacos at various San Diego restaurants this time next week.  All this food talk suddenly has my glossopharyngeal nerve more worked up than a young teen lad and the current issue of Penthouse, for the articles of course!

Oh Mr. Fish Taco, I’m about to violate your personal space for a few days!

Maybe Miss Madison is going to tell you in vivid detail about the time I saved 17 cats from a 252-foot tall maple tree last summer.  I’m doubting she is though, probably more along the lines of lock Skipah in the bathroom after he ate Taco Bell with a popcorn chaser for dinner.  I’m not too proud to say, “My shit does stink.”  My olfactory nerve works too well at times.  The grin on her face when I agreed to this would rival The Cable Guy promotional poster from way back when, or when Jim Carrey was relevant.

A little background on my new co-partner on this little bloggy thing.  She is a history buff, will argue about Indiana Public Education with you until you just throw your hands up and say “you win.”  Ouch, dammit Miss Madison, I have feelings too, I’m not going to Tijuana next week!  I told you that passport application was for a future research project!  No reason to throw a book at me and attempt to cause my trigeminal nerve to go haywire!

In case you didn’t know, Miss Madison isn’t a complete stranger to this 21st-century sensation known as blogging.  Her travel blog is a great read (she made me type that, and I just ducked a flying hammer aimed at my head) and her First Mate Kate series last summer got more traffic than Atlanta in rush hour.  If any posts about me and the time I juggled dynamite on a dare shows up on this site, I might rethink our impending marriage, but I trust her with my life, my daughter, and my website so I’m sure anything negative about me will be in the form of “His farts stink.”  I smile every day that this hot hunk of nothing made her abducens nerves quiver in delight when she first laid eyes on me.

The Skipah will return in a couple of weeks, in the meantime, give Miss Madison and my guest bloggers some serious interaction.  I’m super excited about the topics that are going to be covered.  Being a single mother, divorce, sex, issues in India nothing is off the table.  It will all be sprinkled around whatever is my bride to be’s thought process, I just hope she doesn’t tell the story of me and the time a Verizon store employee knew who I was because of my blog when I was just trying to save a little coin on our cell phone plan.  I don’t want to check my numbers in a couple of weeks and see that nobody clicked on my bloggy buddy’s links, that would make me upset.  When Skipah gets upset, the Dow Jones falls a few points and we all rely on that for our retirement!  Don’t make me snap my me vagus nerve!

About it for now, while Miss Madison is running the company business, I’m off to being interviewed by Josh Temple of HGTV next week!  Follow me on all my social channels because I have to post a live video to receive my prize of a zillion dollar gift card from Home Depot.  Which I’m going to need for the damn treehouse I’ve got to build!  See everyone in a couples of weeks after I get my long overdue lobotomy!

BJ’s wholesale website - DHGate.com
Send Skipah Sailing!


  1. OMG I have never seen as many fish tacos as I have tonight! OMG I have never had a good reason to use OMG. Miss Madison did great, though. Although I do think she should come back and share all the embarrassing information she has on you…

  2. I’m just going off the have a look at Miss Madison’s blog this very minute, Gary. After the great build up you gave it, I didn’t think I could miss it!

  3. Mmm, tacos! Yay, tap!
    I don’t love the desert, but you go and tell us all about it 🙂

  4. Have an awesome time living it up in Vegas etc! I expect to see photos of the nipple ring upon your return! Oh wait that was a joke? Damn!

  5. Heard a song that made me think of your predicament, “I ride east every other Friday” by the Zac Brown Band. Is it Highway 20 you take to see your little girl?

    The coincidents are way too much! Watch out for the freaks over in CA. The go for the strangest things.

  6. It took me a good 30 minutes just click on all of the links you have in this post. I told myself not to click and the next thing I knew, I was on the link! Anyway, laughing ensued, so thanks as always and have fun!

  7. Absolutely the funniest posts I read. You can take some ordinary events and turn them into “gold Jerry, gold!” lol

  8. We shall all be here to support First Mate Kate! I’m fairly certain there will be no fart jokes. Looking forward to her take on things!

Tell Skipah all about it!

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