That Was A Fun Ride

This fulfills any obligations I have to The National Association of Graffiti Artists.

Well, that came and went too damn quick!  Just wrapped up my fourth weekend in a row with the blonde bomber, and I could really get used to having her around here all the time.  Hell, she wants to be here all the time.  Not sure what goes on at her other house, but she dreads leaving every Sunday when she is with me.  The stall tactics she pulls when it is time to saddle up the horse and buggy to take her off to her “Old Kentucky Home,” are quite humorous.  She hates it, I hate it, but what can you do when the not so great state of Indiana says that’s the way it is.  I’m actually proud of Kentucky, they recently passed a shared parenting bill that presumes all custody to be 50/50 unless one of the parents did something stupid like picked up a crystal meth habit or has a notion of taking things without paying for them.

Friday night, Miss Madison and the girls were off to Girls Inc. for some “girly” fun, that left me and The Turtle Man to fend for ourselves.  We picked up a “third” wheel in our quest for male dominance in the Madison, Indiana area (recently a finalist in America’s Best Communities), in none other than “Uncle Tim.”  Uncle Tim is literally a modern medical marvel.  When he was born in 1957, the Chicago Cubs were in the middle of a serious World Series drought, the Ford Motor Company tried to put itself out of business when they ventured into the fruit market and started selling the Edsel species of lemons, and the good stork that delivered Uncle Tim played a cruel joke when he was born with Down Syndrome.

Unfortunately, our little city didn’t get a ribbon, but were still one of eight finalists nationwide!

If you don’t know anything about Down Syndrome, go get educated about it.  Uncle Tim (other than being an ardent supporter of aforementioned Chicago Cubs) is pretty damn cool.  He was in the mood Friday night for some burgers that feature a freckled face girl with red ponytails as their logo, aka Wendy’s.  Unfortunately for Uncle Tim, Wendy’s doesn’t serve wine in their United States locations.  Uncle Tim can knock back wine that would make any teacher, Italian, or mommy blogger look like some kind of rookie.  The dude loves his wine and sherbet!  Needless to say, the Turtle Man and I had a great time entertaining Uncle Tim last Friday night, with apologies to Katy Perry!

Saturday the weather decided to go all “gloom and doom” on us so we opted to not go see Thunder Over Louisville.  Thunder over Louisville is the kickoff to the two week party known as  The Kentucky Derby Festival.  That damn Ohio River keeps us separated, but southern Hoosiers do love to partake in fun festivities in and around Louisville.  What did we do instead you may be wondering?  Annie Get Your Gun was being performed by the local high school and like I tell my ex-wife from time to time, Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better.  Except for birthing children, I’m not good at that.  An amazing performance by the young men and women, and the young lady that performed Annie Oakley’s character is going to be a bonafide Broadway performer if she chooses to go that route!

The kids definitely approved!

I’ve now seen two shows performed by the local high school and I was blown away when they pulled off England’s greatest carpetbag wielding nanny with their rendition of Mary Poppins last year.  This show was just as worthy of the praise, and throw in the fact that Sloane has been singing the soundtrack ever since we left the performance is only icing on the proverbial cake.  Anything that is Sloane approved, is definitely Skipah approved!  Uncle Tim even joined us for the night out.  He was still a tad chafed that they didn’t serve wine, but it was an awesome night out as a family.  Sloane in all her ever loving wisdom wanted to know why “she isn’t allowed to live with us” even though she told the powers that be she wanted to way back when.  

Sunday snuck up on us like a fart in the wind, remember last month when the #SLOANESUPPORTSSTJUDES fundraiser was going on?  She made her goals and one of them was if she raised $300 I would get blasted by the kids with Silly String.  I’m a man of my word and 12 bucks later I was lambasted with some of the foulest tasting stuff on earth.  Shout out to the Dollar Store for only charging a buck a can of every damn color they offered.  When you need a shopping cart at the Dollar Store you know it’s about to get real in the future!

Silly String tastes disgusting!

I would have loved to been a passerby on the street when this went down!

Sloane and I are still going to volunteer when our schedules make this possible since she did raise over $500.  Again I thank all of you that donated, and I’m more than willing to dance at your next wedding or bar mitzvah!  The month of April was in a word “awesome,” and now it’s back to the old status quo of every other weekend.  At least summer isn’t too far away when this dad goes back on 50/50 status for a few months, and softball has just begun so I’ll still get to see her more than usual.  

About it for now, the girls are in the process of working on their very own product review.  They were super excited about it and I’m just waiting on rough drafts from the two of them before I incorporate it into a post.  Not to mention I recently scored a huge product review of my own that will require some “adult” writing.  Never a dull moment in the Skipahsphere!  Also, check out the new freelance contributor to Divorce Force if you have the time.  That Gary Mathews dude that now writes for them kind of resembles this Gary Mathews.  Coincidence?????  You will have to go see for yourself!


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  1. You are a sport! I am officially the Worst. Mom. Ever. I hate silly string and will not buy it under any circumstances … unless, perhaps to send it with my daughters to my sister’s house …

  2. Fabulous Gary. I just came back from reading your ‘divorce’ post. You are rocking my friend! 🙂

    • Which one LOL, things are great these days. I would have told you that you were crazy two plus years ago when I got started in this crazy thing known as blogging that people would pay me for my words!

  3. Hi Gary!

    Nominated you for an award:

    So now you have one more thing to blog about! Looking forward to seeing your answers!


  4. Uncle Tim sounds like a fun guy to be around. We have all sorts of wine bottles around our Wendy’s here but they also don’t actually serve it. I did not know Silly String was still a thing. After seeing this demo I have no interest in wearing or eating it. That being said I have no doubt the kids loved having you sit for their painting.

    • Silly String tastes disgusting! Would do it every day of the week and twice on Sunday though for the kids. I’m still in awe how much the blogging community donated to Sloane’s St. Judes campaign.

  5. Apart from all your silly (string) humor, your caring attitude shows strongly as you describe your time with Uncle Tim and with your kids. Of course Sloane wants to live with you, you know HOW to live! Bravo to you, Gary!

  6. I miss silly string. It was a “must have” for my birthday party sleepovers as a kid. Maybe I should bring that back now? Hats off to you, Gary, you are doing great as a dad/fiance!

  7. I’m impressed that Sloane enjoyed Mary Poppins – she’ll be talking cockney in no time! ( Thanks for the England plug too!)

  8. I think the most enjoyable thing I find about your blog is your involvement as a Father. Children grow up so fast, you’ve secured a beautiful close relationship that will last for a lifetime

  9. It was the highlight for me seeing you get stringed!

  10. Never have used silly string in my life! Will remember not to try ingesting it, if I ever get the chance. Can’t taste as bad as a calf with diarhea’s shit splattering in your mouth!

    Keep your mouth closed next time someone is spraying anything in your vacinity. Hairspray, bug spray, you get the idea! Do not want to accidently be poisoned by DDT do you?

    At least the kids had fun. You daughter is SO LUCKY to have you in her life! At least she still want’s to live with you.

  11. Annie Get Your Gun is one of my all time favorites, and as the president of thespian troupe #5968 in 2002, 2003, & 2004, I commend you for supporting high school theatre. 😉

  12. Gary,that Silly String picture is damn epic!!! Sounds like the Boy’s Night out turned into a non-stop funfest! Good stuff,sir

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