The Badger Chronicles: Meet the Milwaukeeans


The final few days in the Wisconsin paradise known as Door County were spent with a couple that were Miss Madison’s fellow alumni from way back when.  The displaced Madisonians now run an illegal chop shop in Milwaukee and, in their spare time, raise two kids.  The Milwaukeeans in all seriousness were cooler than the other side of the pillow and didn’t even try to steal our vehicle!

Before we could entertain the Milwaukeeans, we still had an afternoon to spend with the Appleton Gummy Gang.  Another trip to Sturgeon Bay is just what the doctor ordered, as the kids braved the water temps and had a grand ole time.  Miss Madison even partook in the festivities, and Mr. Skipah decided to actually get his swimming trunks wet and went in waist deep before he remembered the Seinfeld episode titled “The Hamptons (Shrinkage)” and knew why in his second life he will not be a fish!


This one is going to be shown to the first boyfriend!  She didn’t find China nor a badger as much as she tried!


Good times indeed!

The Milwaukeeans loved to have a good time, though, and on day one, talked everyone (but me) into swimming in the frigid temps of Green Bay.  I will say though, watching Sloane float away in Green Bay was one of those parenting moments you will never forget.  Major props to Mr. Milwaukee for jumping in the water with the kids.  He was crazier than someone that had missed their last six Prozac doses, but the kiddos loved him!

Green Bay

I was explaining to the Turtle Man that a cold shower is warmer than these waters!

For a nightcap, pre-bonfire of course, it was time to shoot off parachute men on the bay!  The kids had ideas of chasing/swimming miles away to gather them up, but thankfully cooler heads prevailed.  I had already hooked Sloane on the awesomeness that are parachute men.  You can add Miss Madison Jr. & the Turtle Man to my ever growing firework posse!


All men touched down softly in Green Bay to start their recon mission to Michigan!

While not nearly as “epic’ as the previous night’s bonfire, the first night with the Milwaukeeans wasn’t too shabby.  Since the embers were still glowing like a dude who just lost his virginity, any wood that was stacked onto the pile would quickly combust.  No worries though, I had enlisted my junior pyromaniacs helpers to forage for more fire fuel.  The little fellers did yeoman’s work helping create the perfect beast!


They both earned their a honorary doctorate from Skipah University in the field of fire building.

After we survived the first night with the displaced Madisonians, it was time for day two!  Quick check to make sure I was still in the good graces with Smokey the Bear, and it was time to take the kids out boating/canoeing!  I vowed not to repeat the epic fail from last year when we took the boat out, if you don’t know by now though, I’m an idiot.  The boat actually started this year (at times), so I didn’t get to work on my upper body strength training by rowing too much.  The highlight though was the christening of the S.S. Nimrod!

Mr. Milwaukee is one hamburger short of a happy meal evidently and agreed to take the girls out a canoe trip.  I think more time was spent getting back in the canoe than actually paddling, but seeing Sloane literally begging to flip the canoe is something you never forget!  My little amphibian grew gills that week or is just as crazy as her dad.  Watching the little blonde bomber become an active thrill seeker melts my heart every time I think about it.  Since my divorce, I’ve never wanted her to experience “boring,” and I think my hard work might be paying off.


Might have possibly been the most fun Sloane had ever had while she was aboard the S.S. Nimrod!

Another bang up dinner and Mr. Milwaukee and I had some bonding moments at the local tavern before we returned to fully cement our first ballot nomination into the firebug hall of fame located in Hoboken, New Jersey.  The whole week had me happier than a stoner who won a free trip to a Doritos manufacturing plant.

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end, and this family jaunt was no exception.  For the most part, all the kids played well in the sand box (again sorry to the staff at Sonny’s), Miss Madison and I made more memories as a family and with each other (no, I’m not engaged, I wasn’t the Hoosier that won the Mega Millions Friday night), and spending a few days just chillaxing with old friends made this one awesome trip.

On the way home, I once again got to learn how wonderful Wisconsin traffic is again (seriously Milwaukee), but we took the long way home so yours truly got to take in some more of the beautiful Lake Michigan coastline and of course lighthouses!  We visited the Algoma lighthouse again, and I even got a little face time with the Kewaunee lighthouse.  Again, if travelling in Wisconsin via automobile, be sure to send a post card to the capital building asking why there are 4,000 construction projects going on at once!


Nothing beats seeing “Welcome to Indiana” to any Hoosier when travelling home from a long road trip and this one was not different.  Quick stop in Merriville, IN to eat at Portillo’s (Skipah needs write a five star YELP.COM review) and then nothing more than another round of windmill farms (that evidently make great lightning rods I saw firsthand), rainy interstates, and finally my warm and comfy bed back home in Madison, Indiana.


Get the Italian Beef and thank me later!


About it for now, unfortunately due to time constraints, the blogging has been a little off as of late.  Loyal readers, we’ve got a ton of stuff to catch up on!  Every July 4th we stick our middle finger out at the British and have a grand ole time, in Madison, Indiana it’s more of a birthright for different reasons.  Recapping the holiday weekend and the past week with Sloane are forthcoming, and wait until I tell you about my latest bit of Karma I’ve encountered recently!


So long from the Badger state!

BJ’s wholesale website -
Send Skipah Sailing!


  1. Pingback: Running on Rabbit Power! ⋆

  2. Thanks for keeping us all updated! Love the photos and all the fun! Looking forward to reading more!

  3. Wonderful! I’ve never eaten in Merriville, but if I’m up that way, I’ll look for it.
    Sometimes I think I don’t live far enough north. Like right now. Lawd it’s hot out there. Diving into cold water sounds fantastic!
    Sloane is the poster child of summer fun 🙂

    • My first time stopping in Merrilville (as any Hoosier knows the first “safe” stop once you are through the Lake County corridor), the restaurant was neat and I wish I had taken more pics! Yes a good old fashioned Indiana summer is upon us now. Allergies, humidity, severe storms, humidity, changing clothes seven times a day due to sweating through them, more humidity, isn’t life grand? I swear the girl has Brazilian in her woodpile somewhere, she goes from Midwest white to Bahama goddess tan in about six seconds!

      • Indeed.
        My Moo has skin like that. She gets it from my mother, it’s the Seminole. Blessed, they are. I can’t do 30 minutes without sunscreen or a hat!
        We try not to stop from Illinois to Lafayette.

  4. Ahhh c’mon, a little cold water is good for you! You have been a busy man….errr, man, and looks like fun as usual. Hope that Karma hasn’t crapped on you or anything around you. 😉

  5. Good to hear you are still alive!

  6. Great photos Gary! Did you get a new camera?

Tell Skipah all about it!

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.