The Badger Chronicles: The Wheels of the Bus Go Round and Round


Being a Hoosier fan, I had my Google Location history off while near West Lafayette!  Did you know a Purdue diploma doubles as a napkin?

Howdy neighbor, welcome back to the Skipahsphere, loyal denizens!  I want to personally thank Jenn and Jennifer for keeping my tiny sector of the internet afloat while I was away in mortal combat with mosquitoes and chasing badgers.  Yours truly, along with Miss Madison and the gang, spent the past week in beautiful Door County, Wisconsin making memories and trying not to burn down the Wisconsin peninsula.  I succeeded in one objective, the other you will just have to wait and see.  #Foreshadowing!

With Miss Madison making the immediate turn around to visit family in her native Minnesoooooota for the week (I’ve been up north for a week myself, my O’s are long right now), I’ve got the air cranked down to something between a morgue and an ice factory.  The toilet seat is in the locked “up” position, and we may or may not be burning unspent nuclear rods from the defunct Kewaunee Nuclear Power Station.


For some reason, tonight’s fire is burning a little hotter than normal, in an unrelated note, I’m glowing!

Like any good Hoosier that sets off to more exotic places than corn fields, that meant cashing in those Plenti points and hitting the interstate.  Unfortunately driving the interstates in Indiana consists of only one thing, when do we get to Indianapolis!  Because other than Indy, it’s a severe case of white line fever, an agriculture orgy of corn and soybeans, or the occasional Wind Farm that could double as a set from The Twilight Zone series.  I love my home state; however, I would rather drive dodging mortar shells than traversing the interstates in Indiana.  It’s sleep-inducing at best and Chinese Water Torture at its worst.  It’s Indy or bust in this state when driving if you want any sign of “life” most of the time.

Sleeping Kids

“Let us know when we get to Chicago!”


Whose says Indiana isn’t progressive with “clean” energy?  

Since Miss Madison could plan a Jamaican vacation on three nickels and a Groupon voucher, she had this unheard of idea of packing a cooler and stopping for picnic style lunch and dinner on the way up.  What a concept, why didn’t I think of that!  For lunch, I was thinking of exotic locales like the Soldiers’ and Sailors’ Monument or on the banks of the Wabash River.  However, the kids thought the rest stop in Wolcott, Indiana would be perfect.  Evidently this little ghost town in Indiana must be the only piece of real estate in the state that hasn’t seen rain as the grass was crunchier than my breakfast granola bar.


Sure in the hell beats fast food!

From there Mr. Skipah went “rogue” and decided to navigate through Crown Point, IN instead of suffering more of an I-65 headache to reach the big city of Chicago.  I’ll walk through fire if it means I don’t have to play the robbery lottery in Gary, Indiana (no relation) if something were to happen mechanically to our buggy.  Crown Point didn’t disappoint for scenery (I’m a poet and I didn’t know it), and has arguably the coolest courthouse I’ve ever seen in this state!


You should see the blurry up close pics!

After the mind-numbing (and expensive) drive through Chicago, we crossed the state line into all things cheese curds and cow poo!  Wisconsin also doubles as the Interstate construction capital of the country!  I know they only have a few months a year to get anything done before snow blowing becomes an Olympic sport, but, for the love of God, can I get a 30-mile stretch of road without lane closures and detours!  I would rather jump in Green Bay naked (water temp 63 degrees) than drive through the ass backward city of Milwaukee again! (Although they have a mighty impressive courthouse themselves!)  Other than that any Milwaukee natives reading this, no offense, your interstate system sucks worse than a quarter hooker!  Umm, not that I know anything about that!


Wisconsin keeps you on your toes merely for the idiots that love to brake check you in construction zones, but eventually we made it off the “main” road to Manitowoc and headed up the peninsula with Lake Michigan waving at me from the right.  Took in the lighthouse (more lighthouses to come this week), and even bargain shopped at Aldi’s.


Yes, the water is really that blue!

All was good in the land of cherries & cheese until on June 20th someone actually successfully committed suicide.  I’m not going to go all Debby Downer, but for anybody that hasn’t followed me for a long time, June 20th will rank up there with Sloane’s birth and the first time I saw a girl naked.  I unsuccessfully tried to thwart my own life after learning of my divorce.  I’m all good now and don’t see that changing, but it’s a day I will never forget, so I thought I should mention it.  However, Birdbrain Brent was having a tough go of it in his avian world and somehow managed to fly through a window at 60 mph and crash land into Miss Madison Jr.  It was by far the craziest damn thing I’ve ever witnessed!  I think they need to cut back on alcohol consumption at the local bird bowling tournaments or something!


Coming soon my own Travel Channel show on “weirdest” road trip experiences!

We arrived at our little hidey-hole in Idlewild, Wisconsin just in time for me to don my “Kiss the Cook apron” (I had no takers) and whip up the family some quality grub while the minions enjoyed a quality sunset.  Awesome sunsets will be a recurring theme; the weather was perfect every night but one!


Dinner time!


I asked this guy where to find a badger, he told me to go jump in the bay!


About it for now, Mr. Skipah has a ton more to cover in the upcoming days:  Hunting for badgers, dodging deer, Kung Fu fighting with mosquitos, evading the Coast Guard at the Sherwood Point Lighthouse locale, visiting one of only three certain type of beaches in the world, skinny dipping (wrong blog), great times with friends, spear fishing with a dull stick (I might have made that up), the S.S. Nimrod, the list goes on and on!  The goal was to make memories, and you can bet your ass we did!


BJ’s wholesale website -
Send Skipah Sailing!


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  3. Lots of courage to take such a long car trip. Sorry about the bird. Glad you didn’t roast it at your next BBQ. You didn’t, right?

  4. Beautiful pics! Welcome back. 🙂

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  7. The deer in WI are much smaller than the one that we almost hit while we lived in CO. He had a huge rack on him, yet my husband didn’t see him, until I screamed “DEER!”, he thought I was trying to just get his attention, so I said “you know the four legged animal standing in the middle of the road”, then he saw it! There is a reason I do not use the term “Dear” while in a vehicle! Grew up in deer run southern IL. Scrawny deer down there. Hitting cattle does more damage to a vehicle!

    Road construction is in season all over the country this time of year. Tis the season after all! Basically any time you are dumb enough to dare entering the state of WI, expect drivers that do not follow the rules of the toad. I doubt most of them can read anyway! Insurance is basically non existent for most vehicles in the state. If you are in an accident, your insurance will have to cover both vehicles involved. It sucks, I know. That is why I only lasted 8 months living in hell there!

    Glad you survived your journey’s. Chicago was a 18 month part of my life I enjoyed, but moved out due to the state taxes there. Wonderful museums to enjoy! Great public transportation like the train system to take you from the suburbs to down town.

    Can’t wait for your next post and First Mate Kate’s take on things!

  8. Glad you had a great time…those sunset pictures are terrific.

  9. Wonderful! I’m so glad you’re back, and regarding the 20th, I’m so glad you’re still here 😀
    I never tire of driving through Hoosierland, Skipah. It’s so much prettier than other places!

  10. So funny, I look just like your child with the hair when I’m in the car,lol. Fun post.

  11. Oh, well hey there stranger! Glad you made it back, and whoa, what an epic adventure you guys had. Way to go on the picnic stops, that part had me grinning from ear to ear. Would love to see true blue water like that some day too.

    Welcome back man, looking forward to reading more about your travels. No the suicidal birds though….

  12. Welcome back! Lovin the pictures of the sunset! 🙂

  13. Oh my gosh, that CORN ON THE COB looks delicious! Yes please, pass me another ear…

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