After our hilarious road trip through central Kentucky we arrived in one piece and thankfully our disguise was still holding up. We arrived at the Kentucky Horse Park and immediately we were looking for the first lieutenant (north Midwest regiment) of Skipah’s Army. None other than Mrs. BritishMumUSA (BMU for the rest of this post) and her kick ass equine enthusiast daughter the honorable Miss BeBe! We found BMU at the food court (go figure), and since we talk to each other more than I talk to myself the meet and greet was a mere formality, but it was nice to put a face to the name. Sloane took to her and BeBe immediately and my little international savant being who she is first question out of her mouth “Are you British?” BMU took it in stride and it was off for a day’s worth of equine activities led by BeBe.
Some quick background on Miss BeBe, she is a horse NUT! Her favorite scent is “barn”, she will tell you that without so much as batting an eyelash. She’s share boards a horse back home named Sir Parsley, and an avid collector of Breyer horse figurines herself. The Breyer Fest is like her personal World Series, I was in absolute amazement listening to her verbalize her knowledge of the Breyer, horses, training methods, what they eat, wear, do for hobbies, other horses they dated. I mean there isn’t one aspect of each of the horses in attendance this year she didn’t know about. Every horse at the Breyer festival has its own miniature replica I learned from her.
I also learned that Barbie, Ty Beanie Babies, Cabbage Patch Kids, and American Girl Doll collectors are mere amateurs compared to this Breyer figurine crowd. Some of these people need to get a life! BMU informed me that she had a Harvard tuition wrapped up in these mini horses, but BeBe takes excellent care of them and has since she was Sloane’s age. She also informed that these horse folks “Are effing nuts!” First off it was somewhere between frying an egg on the sidewalk and nuclear meltdown temperature wise yesterday in Lexington. These whackos stand in line for hours for the mere chance to obtain an exclusive only to this event miniature horse that may or may not be in stock by the time they get to enjoy their own personal utopia of 15 minutes to browse the traveling Breyer store. If they hit the jackpot though and obtain their own little “Simba” he’s getting flipped tomorrow on EBay or Craig’s List for 100-200 bucks depending on the horse’s stature. I literally saw people dying sitting/standing in this outdoor line.
As for the horse show its self, frigging awesome. We watched a whole junior drill team knock it out of the park. The precision of horses running full speed and not running into each other was mind blowing. By this time Sloane is rooting and tooting like she’s some old stage hand on a Wild West traveling show and loving every minute of it. I swear I could have bathed her in ice cream and let her drink root beer out of a tap and she still wouldn’t be as happy as she was yesterday. She clung to Miss BeBe like a little puppy dog and BeBe didn’t mind it a bit.
After taking in the drill team and couple of other shows (they run something all day) it was time to go check out the stables. We met Simba, Stud’s Hooligan, Lil Ricky Rocker, and my personal favorites the Wismer Clydesdales from Canada. Those dudes are HUGE! Even though BMU and I were by this time eyeballing the lounge for a refreshing adult beverage, BeBe and Sloane were talking everything horse. She took her to every last stable on the property, and thankfully one stable owner unbeknownst to them let me charge my phone up for about 20 minutes to capture some pictures.
After that it was a trip to the Breyer store for the “common folks”, they literally take this shit seriously. Two armed police at the door, packing a pistol and badge for all to see. Mandatory bag check in, I was half waiting for a background check and a list of viable organs to donate just to gain entrance into the Breyer area. Sloane window shopped about 250,000 thousand in stuff, before I let her settle on a Christmas ornament. She got two free mini-mini horses as part of the admission and I promised her we would look into becoming a Breyer girl in the future. After that it was time to hit what I would best describe as the Breyer flea market. Again to quote BMU “mate these horse people are effing nuts!” I saw horses going for up to 750 bucks! I really can’t put it in words what I witnessed, don’t get me wrong everyone is friendly as can be, but it was crazy. Also Sloane has an unofficial tab ranging close to a half million now. She’s up to an ornament, a couple of pins, and Mrs. BeBe bought her a $4.00 horse before I could get to my wallet. Those Brit offspring and their hospitality!
At BeBe’s suggestion we took Sloane over to the “kid” section of Breyer Fest, she’s a little big for the activities now but I’m telling you this girl has equine blood in her veins. She had as much fun watching Sloane ride a little pony, do her own mini equestrian jumping, and even took her to the petting zoo. I promised BMU I would dance at BeBe’s wedding, “mate she’s one of these horse people, I think you realize now their effing crazy!” (O.K. I might have made that one up)
For me I was looking forward to meeting BMU and take my daughter to see horses. Personally I didn’t have the highest of hopes of enjoying the horses. I thankfully was dead wrong about that! Meeting and spending the day with BMU and BeBe I will never forget either. I can’t thank BeBe enough in person, in writing, carrier pigeon, email, pony express or any other form of communication of how grateful I was with Sloane taking to her like a fish in water and it not bothering her a bit. BMU and her hubs have raised an incredibly talented young lady.
As for BMU, just wow, she was funnier in person with her accent (I’m sure I sounded like an extra from Hee Haw to her) than all the thousands of messages she and I have exchanged during work our free time. We had a great conversation while BeBe was painting caricature Breyer horses with Sloane (free activity with price of admission, best 18.00 dollars ticket I have ever bought), she is more than familiar with my current custody situation and has done way more research than she needed to (thanks again MATE), when I explained it to her how it was laid out to me you can imagine her response “That’s effing crazy mate”, I could write on and on for days the conversation we had on why we blog, how addicting it can be/is, and other bloggers we both interact with but I’ll spare you non bloggers the details.
This is after six hours of sweating and more sweating, she is vertically challenged because I’m not nearly that tall. She however is about a cool as they come!
As we parted ways I thanked her and BeBe profusely again and she wished me luck on July 27th, on the way out of the park Sloane was already talking about next year and hoping it would fall on my week and what Breyers she was going to purchase. Damn you BMU! You created a monster, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way!