The war is over! I’d like to say I won, and since I didn’t lose any custody I did win, but really there are no winners in this war. I have a seven year old daughter who now has such a warped view of how marriage is supposed to work or how a relationship between two people works in general. One day when she is older I’ll explain all the wrongs and rights of why her mommy and daddy aren’t together anymore. I’m not perfect by any means, but since all this began I set out to be the best damn father I could. That alone is what saved my ass yesterday (and the ex being a little too combative with the mediator), good guys do win out in the end sometimes. Personally though I would have loved to seen the look on her face when the mediator basically laid it out that she had no chance due to her own reckless behavior. FYI to anybody reading this and wants to get divorced and has kids be upfront with your lawyer from day one. Her stupidity and me doing all I can to spend time with my daughter is what won out in the end.
Personally I don’t know where to begin, this blog got me through the rough times, the sad times, my outlet to vent when I needed to, as I healed I didn’t blog as much, didn’t have much to say and I was busy doing other things. Life got back to normal for me, I went from not wanting to be divorced, to accepting it, to looking forward to it. The list of people that I leaned on grew day by day and I will never be able to repay those debts. Along the way I learned that its O.K. cry, its O.K. to vent, its O.K. to open yourself up. You learn that you aren’t near as tough as you think you are when all this shit hits you out of nowhere. My family and some of the most awesome greatest friends in the world kept me propped up until I was able to steer myself. Along the way also I found out that my daughter goes to an amazing school and her classmate’s parents are amazing. Some of these parents are great friends of mine now, all the help moms and dads gave me along the way and others associated with the school I will never forget. Now that I have a set custody schedule I am going to take up that vow I made at the beginning of school and get involved more with volunteering at the school. I don’t feel like a stranger there now, and while I may not be “affiliated” spiritually with many of them, they never held that against me and still always looked out for me or my daughter.
Yesterday was one of the happiest days of my life, I got out of the law office and was walking around like a young boy that just kissed his first girl! I overcame the odds, how many dad’s in an “unamicable” divorce get a Wednesday and Sunday overnight. NONE that’s how many, my daughter will be thrilled when I see her next time she was worried sick that she would only see me as much as one of her classmates gets to see her father (divorced) it was driving her crazy and I wasn’t able to go into details with her about the divorce. My daughter isn’t going anywhere now though, any school decisions I have to sign off on, and I was told it better be a damn good reason since I have this much custody for her mother to relocate her. Running off to get married to a loser I was assured by both my attorney and the mediator wouldn’t be a good enough reason. I haven’t seen my daughter since yesterday’s great news due to more vehicle issues (UGH) so I had to trade out tonight for tomorrow night since I’m not driving myself to work tomorrow and didn’t want to put my buddy out dropping my daughter off. This weekend though we are going to party like its 1999, hell I might just let her finger paint the walls. At least the ex was amicable about that, all the grandstanding that took place the last five months turned out to be moot anyway. I was there for my daughter and she wasn’t!!!!! At least not enough to warrant what she was wanting.
About all I got to say for tonight, I’m super excited about yesterday’s outcome, bummed about my truck, and ready to get on with chapter two of my adult life. I made it through though, I got handed a pile of chicken shit and somehow I got through it and at least made some edible chicken salad!!!!!!!!