The Jersey Shore Files: The Cape May Peninsula (Part Two)

One of the coolest places on earth!

I am 100% pure Midwest and I’ve heard all the Jersey jokes, hell, I’ve even laughed at a few of them.  While I’m not going to get on my bully pulpit and defend the Garden State from ridicule (the whole left turn thing and all), I will say everybody should have the pleasure of visiting Cape May, New Jersey before drawing a final conclusion on the state.  Rife with history and charm, Cape May is a must see for anyone!

Quick history lesson for everyone, Cape May is considered the oldest seaside vacation destination in the United States.  Apparently back in the day Benjamin Franklin was a frequent visitor and may or may not have flown his freak flag while staying at historic Congress Hall.  Presidents and dignitaries from all over the country used to treat Cape May as their personal playground to get away from the hustle and bustle of ordinary life.  For us, it was just another stop on our epic summer vacation.  Although I do admire Benjamin Franklin and all he contributed to the founding of our country, I don’t think sitting naked in front of my house is going to garner me any support for whatever cause I feel needs promoted.  Old Benny was a genius in some aspects of life, in others he was flat out crazy!

Next time I’m up this way, I will inquire about staying here.  Booootiful!

First stop while in Cape May was a beautiful downtown/courtyard area.  A nice little lunch at the Stewart’s Root Beer Cafe and we were well prepared to do some of the finest window shopping a grisly pack of Hoosiers knows how to do.  As an added bonus, the surrounding neighborhoods are all 19th century Victorian style decor.  This brought many smiles to Miss Madison’s face and she even inquired about the cost of living in the area.  I had to remind her that they tax everything but the air in New Jersey so buy a postcard instead.  It was a great few hours indeed touring the area.

The Victorian decor is everywhere in Cape May!

Unfortunately, my Samsung G7’s battery decided to enter the witness protection program or I would have more images of downtown.    

From there the gang was off to the historic Cape May Lighthouse.  I fully intended to reach the apex of the 217-staired monster and test the theory of gravity with any misbehaving kids.  Calm down, Miss Madison, I wouldn’t throw any kids from that high, now 100 steps and I’m running low on caffeine…well, let’s just move on.  I’ve seen a lighthouse or two in my day, and this one definitely moved into a top three spot in the rankings.  A quick tour of the beach and I forgot just how close the Nazis were to attacking American soil in WWII.  There is still at freestanding WWII era bunker that sits on the nearby beach.  While I was atop the lighthouse, I had my eyes peeled for zombie U-boats and was ready to spring into action Chuck Norris style if any modern day Nazi was trying to live out some kind of fantasy!

Thank God it wasn’t hot that day, I’ve done the lighthouse climbing tours with temps in the 90s and humid as hell.  It’s a slow death!

That dude in the upper right hand corner…….what an ass!  Women’s prisons will be using that photo in their yearly calendars forever!

One final stop in Cape May was to start our own diamond smuggling business.  I hooked up with a small jewel fence operation earlier in the week while in Philly and was promised untold riches if I could bring them some counterfeit diamonds.  Where better to start than at Sunset Beach, home of the Cape May Diamond.  We put our kids to work looking for the finest fake diamonds known to man.  So what is a Cape May Diamond you may be asking?  It’s quartz rock that the ocean has pulverized so much that by the time it reaches land it would pass for a diamond to the untrained eye or any young aspiring gold digging soon to be ex-wife.  We liked our haul so much and the memories we created, I told Rocco and the boys back in Philly I wasn’t interested in their nefarious ploys of ripping people off, I’m going to start my own racquet here in Indiana instead!  At this point of the trip, I would have to say this was by far our most enjoyable day.  I only swore once (that’s my story and I’m sticking to it) and that was only because the local gas station didn’t offer Diet Dr. Pepper in fountain drink form!

I’ll eat all kinds of fresh seafood!

Disclaimer:  Because people are stupid, and the internet breeds stupidity like horny mosquitoes, it as this point I should mention Skipah’s Realm does not condone or promote trafficking in fake jewelry.

Since we promised the kids they could go nuts one last time in the ocean when we got back to our home base, the not so wild city of Wildwood, they headed straight for the water.  I should mention this particular evening it was about 52 degrees!  Hypothermia is for sissies when it comes to the kiddos!  While they were practicing ocean techniques that would have the nearby whales applauding, Miss Madison and I were feverishly rubbing sticks together in hopes we could create a fire for warmth!  

The kids had a blast, and I think the shot of me will be used in a future episode of Orange Is The New Black

So long Cape May it was a blast!

About it for now, we bid adieu the next morning to Cape May as we were off to the Maryland/D.C. area to get answers from politicians and create more memories!  

BJ’s wholesale website -
Send Skipah Sailing!


  1. Leave Franklin be… everyone loves Naked Tuesdays!

  2. Great, now I’ll be thinking about Benjamin Franklin’s freak flag for days. Gross and weird.

    • I had no idea he was freak either, that is what you get when you are with a history teaching ninja. The weird and wild they don’t teach you in text books. Evidently, old Benny discovered electricity and how to fly the freak flag!

  3. I always think of Cape fear when I see Cape May. I don’t know why.

  4. Having fun like this is tiring—I don’t know how you do it!!

  5. Seems like you’re most likely to be the next show on the travel channel! Traveling with a blended family… lol! Sounds like a blast! Enjoy!

  6. I hope you are enjoying the Mid Atlantic area. Have a wonderful holiday.

  7. This brought back memories of a trip to Cape May 20 or so years ago. Anyone who loves old Victorians, great lighthouses and the New Jersey seaside should put Cape May on their bucket list for ‘shore.’

  8. At least you are taller than Miss Madison! So you get the advantage of adding height to the family. Can you please reach the bowl on the top shelf for me? (Get used to this request!)

  9. Oh I love the houses Gary. I’ve heard of Jersey Shore but never visited when we were in the US. Thanks for the tour

  10. Yeah, still hungry for seafood. You guys have too much fun together. Not a bad thing at all though. 🙂

  11. That is certainly one whirlwind trip. When do you actually get to relax before going back to work?

Tell Skipah all about it!

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.