Beatrice the hybrid bunny has no idea who to vote for!
Can they get anything in Michigan right? Detroit is a shell of itself, whoever wrote off on this whole Flint water deal should be thrown under the jail, and evidently they can’t conduct political polling either. Bernie “get off my lawn old dude” Sanders pulled off his own Dewey beats Truman moment yesterday. Depending on if you read the Wall Street Journal or the Rydell High school newsletter, Mrs. Clinton was a huge favorite to win. Oops is about all I can say to that. For all the efforts spent on polling, I’ve got a better idea—quit letting residents in your state drink the equivalent of a #2 pencil in the city’s drinking water.
It was an even better night in the Super Tuesday: Part Deux (for my French fans) primaries for the U.S. State Department of which, Mrs. Clinton was formerly secretary of. Per the Skipah’s Realm crack research department, the cost of applying for a U.S. passport is $110.00 and $30.00 if you need to renew. Since this has to be nothing more than a mere few clicks of a button while a federal employee is reading TMZ and checking Facebook, I have to surmise the State Department pulls in a pretty decent profit on passport applications and renewals. In this country’s biggest journalism expose since Watergate the Skipah’s Realm journalism pool has evidence that the federal government actually wants Trump to win!
Mr. Skipah why would you say such outlandish things (I’m a keyboard Rambo, that’s why); because if what I read on the Internet and social media is true roughly 40% of our society is moving to Canada if Trump is elected. It requires a valid passport to cross the border to join the maple syrup mafia, that’s a boatload of cash for the government coffers! Canada get your cell phone towers upgraded and enlist your own politically correct militia you are potentially getting invaded by us! Personally I’ll stay here its too freaking cold in Canada, but this passport theory is starting to gain a little traction in my head. Probably all the meds I’ve been on lately and binge watching House of Cards but would anything else surprise you in this year’s presidential election? Personally I’m rounding up my own gang of gypsies, Wiccans, and soothsayers so we can have a candlelight séance this weekend to bring back the ghost of Teddy Roosevelt!
Three paragraphs on the U.S. primaries, I apologize everyone. I’ve got bigger fish to fry (and eat) myself. This time next week before taking the Chesapeake Bay area by storm I’m in D.C. baby! Now this mid-city man has to learn to navigate one of the worse traffic nightmares in this country and figure out how to use the subway. The closest I’ve ever come to using the subway is ordering a six inch chicken teriyaki! To rip off some Def Leppard: Red Line, Green Line, Yellow Line go, work with me here I know the lyrics contain the word light. Also any advice on subway etiquette would be much appreciated!
This looks a Crayola coloring contest gone bad by mutant toddlers!
Do I drop elbows to get were I want to go or just ask politely to get out of my way? I’ve got to pick up Miss Madison literally two blocks from the White House and get the hell out of dodge. The current plan is to take the subway terminal from Ronald Reagan airport so I’m below the Beltway upon extraction of rescuing my own princess Daisy from nose picking tweenagers, and not the one that the two Italian immigrant plumbers are always getting out of hot water.
Did somebody say sub? Introducing “The Picasso” Miss Madison’s personal masterpiece!
I’ve amended the travel schedule also to take in the scenery of beautiful Wheeling, West Virginia for a night! No I didn’t find any Groupon deals of the finest in art made out of coal, it’s halfway to the big city from here and I can make that drive after work. The quicker I’m in D.C. the more I’ll get to enjoy it. I’ve always wondered where my tax dollars went (unfortunately I know), but one perk is all the monuments and museums are free! The faster I get to D.C. the quicker I get to begin rechanneling my inner photo blogger! I’m even looking to my Irish friends for inspiration for my impending trip.
Coming soon Skipah’s soon to be viral youtube video of how to fix a garage door opener. It will definitely be rated R and depending on how hard it is to reinstall the new part could quickly move up to NC-17.
As giddy as I am about next week I’m giddier about this weekend! Sloane comes home for another weekend of fun and games. She even informed me tonight that it was less than two days and she was going to bed early so tomorrow would get here quicker. The quicker the days pass, the sooner she gets to be back with me. Melted my heart tenfold! We have some wild plans of shopping for softball equipment (Thank God), which for us is akin to a daddy-daughter dance. She’s already telling me what color bat she wants and few other things she will do with it that I can’t repeat here. That’s my little girl is all I can say, she doesn’t liking hearing the word no for an answer either.
About it for tonight, another long day at the office tomorrow and I’ve got to keep training the new guy in the ways of the Skipah, and he’s quickly becoming acclimated to the Skipah “pop culture” dojo. Any day we leave the office and I’ve got him humming another cheesy song I considered it a good day. Chink in the armor with him today, as I learned he doesn’t like baseball! That’s blasphemy in my world, even if my Reds are going to suck worse than every Cubs team in the last 100 years combined this year. Tomorrow is another day though and as long I get to “play ball,” everything is good in my world!