We are going to conquer the world!

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I think I’ve fully recovered from yesterday, ribs are killing me but started getting some strength back by the end of the day.  All my organs have kissed and made up and are all blaming the appendix for aggravating the whole brawl.  He’s worthless anyway and they are starting an inner body petition to send me to the hospital to get him removed before he gets to pissed off and decides to burst causing all of them potential harm.  Even my own organs conspire against me, I have zero frigging luck!

On a lighter note it was Wednesday and that means only one thing, my court order scheduled janitorial/custodial parenting night.  Only the sixth and final one for the month.  Isn’t divorce grand!  To top it all off every Wednesday night this month has been softball.  So by my estimation Sloane and I have had roughly three-four hours of “us” time this whole month.  Don’t get me wrong absolutely love watching her play softball and so proud of how much she has improved, but when she plays the early game it’s pick her up take her to softball and then once we get home bath and about 30 minutes of wind down time.  Late game nights (only one I believe) we chill for about an hour then head to the ballpark and once the late game is over its bath and bed.  So needless to say I haven’t exactly gotten to inflict my sage, all worldly, fatherly advice with her.  Once again I ask this is fair in what world?  I live in New Albany, Indiana not cell block C of a Turkish prison!

Once again though it was softball night in America for the New Albany Lightning and ripping and running is what they did.  Eight runs for the good gals against two for the other team.  My personal Mickey Mantle had a hit in three at bats and made contact one other time.  Unfortunately the next game is Saturday morning and this is my weekend to work so I won’t get to see the next game unless Mother Nature has other plans.  Softball is winding down though as the following weekend is the All-Valley PeeWee softball tournament, as enthusiastic as the coach is I have a feeling we are adopting the motto “Pride doesn’t win trophies, let’s kick some butt!”  I’m going to miss softball and only time will tell if I will get to enjoy it next year.  I think I will because no matter what I have ever typed out on this blogging platform I didn’t write the laws of IPTG.

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What little time we had for fun after softball tonight we spent searching for contraband in Hammy’s cage.  We found dryer lint, an old eight track, and a picture of Raquel Welch crumbled up in his house.  Not ready to have the “talk” with Sloane yet I informed her he obviously likes fancy toilet paper.  Then Hammy committed the ultimate sin and nipped Sloane on the hand.  Justice was quickly served as he was immediately thrown back in his cage and given a scolding that only a Marine drill sergeant would be proud of.  I was informed to cut his food in half until she gets back next weekend and she will deal with this insubordination herself.  Semper Fi Hammy is all I can tell you!

Friday is the last day of school and I’m planning on eating lunch with Sloane and my gang of second graders one last time.  Those kids have become my little buddies and I can’t wait for one last hurrah with all of them, then summer begins and I won’t have Sloane again until next weekend.  Then it’s going to be one big party for us this summer.  Last summer was the Daddy-Daughter bucket list, this summer I think it’s going to be labeled as Skipah and Sloane conquer the world!  Event number one is going to be a Reds game (assuming I can get somebody to sign off on it), I need permission to travel 100 miles with her and Great American Ballpark is 106 miles from my house.  Still waiting on the green light for that!  Potentially taking her to Chicago to meet a fellow blogger and her family or worse case meeting in Lexington, KY at a horse show (won’t need permission for that within the bubble), I’ve got pool parties lined up for her, and also a camping trip so we can “sleep under the stars” like she requested last year but ran out of time before school started.

About it for the night my neighbors are at it again, sounds like break up is in the works.  Not completely sure what prompted this spat, but sounds like she might be sleeping with more than one person (it happens), my advice to her is if  you are going to do it wipe the IPad clean because evidently he’s going on and on about some messages he found on it.  I would go over and offer him advice and tell him he’s going to be better off but Sloane is asleep and he’s pretty hot right now.  I hope he finds some inner peace soon because all this arguing can’t be good for his blood pressure.  Hell, I will even help him set up an online dating profile if he wants!

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15 Comments

  1. Found a softball in my driveway this morning (we live across from the park) Leo wanted to know what the hell happened to the baseball. If we lived closer Sloane could teach him a thing or two.

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  6. Sigh…are there any happy marriages anymore????

    Glad you got to see Sloane. June is here!!

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  8. Damn Hammy, doesn’t know how good he has it! Hope Sloane is okay. Glad you’re better too man. Maybe not so for your appendix though….

    Summer will be an epic Daddy-Daughter time for you two I’m sure, and after the Reds game and blogger meet-up, maybe you’ll be allowed to come to a Rangers game too. I’d try and work something out for my wife and daughter to join if that ever happened.

    Oh yeah, why does your link for Raquel Welch lead to The Shawshank Redemption on Amazon? Was she in there?

    • She’s fine hamsters like to nip, she’s just never gotten nipped yet. You haven’t seen Shawshank!!!!!! That needs to be the next date night movie for you two. I won’t ruin the Raquel Welch part of it for you.

  9. Hammy! Didn’t anyone tell you not to bite the hand that feeds you?

  10. There’s more than one country song about neighbors fighting. So here’s your chance to write a BETTER one, because you’ve been there!

    Glad you’re better. Tell Hammy I said hi.

    Cheers!
    Jules

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