It’s that time again!
Since I’m a little chafed in the ass for not being named People Sexiest Man Alive, I’ve kind of lost the writing bug for the time being. Have no fear, loyal denizens, the Skipah likes to deliver even on an off day, so what better thing to do to cheer me up than to go through the search engine queries that have fortunately (most of the time) found my little hidey hole in the dark recesses of the internet. That’s right, it’s time for another round of Skipah’s Search Engine Posts proudly sponsored by Club Idiocy and The Looney Bin LLC!
Dan Schreiber, sugar tit, Kentucky
Holy hell, Batman. Dan Schreiber is British radio producer (my MI-6 contacts tell me he engineered Brexit) or a professional poker player. I also found a guy in Green Bay, Wisconsin on Facebook that goes by this name, I’m going to assume he owns a snow blower and roots for the Packers every Sunday. Sugartit is a former community in Northwest Kentucky near the Cincinnati, Ohio border. How in the hell this person found this site with those search terms only tells me this person must have illegally obtained some of the finest in bath salts. Granted my love for Kentucky is well documented, so I’m sure stumbling (literally) onto my website couldn’t be ruled out on this query. Not only did this make the top ten of all time search engine queries in my personal Hall-of-Fame, but my next travel assignment when I’m in Cincinnati must include a trip to the town formerly known as Sugartit!
Advice for U.K. man who is going through a divorce
Being an old timer in this bloggy business has afforded me many opportunities to meet people from all over the world online. My first bit of advice would be to tell this fellow chap (how’s that British buddies) to reach out to my U.K. blogging pals, because I have no idea how the divorce laws work over there. Skipah’s own personal advice would be that it sucks worse than a call to your local HVAC repairman and a coin flip on which will cost more. Going through divorce will suck for a few weeks/months depending on what kind of monster you are divorcing from. Hopefully you are only getting divorced to something akin to a baby dragon and not a full-blown fire breathing one like I had to go through. Trust me though, all that hurt and agony will pay off in the long run and you will love yourself more than you did as a teenage boy once you get through it. This does not apply to any manwhore who is filing for divorce because he started practicing hard body karate with someone not named his wife.
Seeing people find my site from this search term warmed my heart up a little. Since I’ve moved to Madison, Indiana, I haven’t been able to be as active as I was in the past on fundraising, but I’m proud of my work with the Colon Cancer Project and the few dollars I have been able to raise for them thanks to my website. I don’t think the Girl Scouts of America (GSA) or The Make-A-Wish Foundation are complaining either, and I look forward to promoting the GSA now that my daughter is an active member again. It became the new me after my blindsided divorce and no reason to stop now. As a matter of fact, if you own your own website and haven’t dabbled into fundraising for noble causes, you need to sit back and take inventory of your life. There are a plethora of people that are less fortunate that didn’t get to choose the hand life dealt them. I’ve raised a few hundred bucks and that isn’t exactly going to get me a commerative brick with my name on it, but you know what it did do? Some unfortunate child from a low-income family potentially got their doctor’s appointment paid for as they had to go get another battery of tests run to see if the Leukemia was still in their system. Maybe your fundraising paid for another hour on the clock for somebody at the Suicide Prevention Hotline that talked somebody down from off the ledge. Make a difference people, it’s not that damn hard!
Mesothelioma attorneys BERGMANLEGAL.COM free evaluation, bankruptcy attorney Birmingham, AL, and tax attorney in Ohio
These three got lumped together because I’m sure it has something to do with this post! My Katy Perryesque crush on lawyers is the worst kept secret on the internet. Free evaluation…HA! More like I’ll see you for free and talk you into your options to choose me if I think I can make some coin, all the while my paralegal is running your financials to see if you can even afford me. There is a reason the acronym TANSTAAFL was coined, because it’s true! Bankruptcy attorney in Birmingham that got some love from this reader, just make sure you cut me in on the profits when you are done billing them for everything from the latest box of paper clips from Staples and the gourmet coffee you insist on having every morning when you get into the office. If you are looking for a tax attorney I don’t have any advice for you, but I’m betting with all the online resources available today you can find a better option. That is, of course, assuming we aren’t talking about some deep-pocketed Walton heir, then maybe you better seek representation.
To quote the random dude playing Five Card Stud holding a seven high “I’ll pass” before I blow up the internet! I’m sure there are plenty of reasons this person found my site. Give me Canadian Prime Ministers for $600 instead Alex!
On the road again Willie Nelson
Since I have been divorced I have been fortunate to travel to many places. I’m not traveling on a big tour bus smoking the best hippie lettuce in all the land though. Good song, but I have no idea how this search found me. Willie is one of the creative minds behind Farm Aid so that is good enough for me to be forever linked to him.
One Day in Brazil
Some of you might remember when I secretly slipped out of the country to cover the Rio Olympics for one day this past summer. Sure, I was on a mission to meet Lilly King and to find out why the water was green, but hey I was there! I know the post-Olympic story was Ryan Lochte, but I was the one buying him drinks all night. Me and the four swimmers involved in the robbery story had the night of our lives! Luckily, I could bribe the Brazilian police with internet exposure and a homecooked meal if they ever show up in Indiana in exchange for staying out of the press. Also, if anybody believes this please contact me ASAP! You are going to love to hear my sound reasoning on why the earth is round, the best methods for cutting an onion with a dull knife, and how dart boards can correctly pick lottery numbers the day after!
What the hell did some stripper beat Ginger Spice from opening a hotel chain? A first glance I was scratching my head wondering what in the hell was going on. I love my fresh spices when cooking as much as the next armchair chef, but a hotel chain named after it that found my site? Dazed and confused would accurately describe what I was feeling when I saw this on my search engine list. Did Cinnamon Carter from Mission Impossible dive into the hotel business? Is there going to be a potential nutmeg & allspice hotel war about to erupt? No idea how this person found my site, but at least I hope he/she enjoyed a nice stay at the Cinnamon Hotel & Suites in Vietnam. I’m telling you the internet is a wacky place at times!
After being linked to hotels named after strippers, attorneys, and Sugartit, Kentucky, I probably better wrap this up for now. The only thing I can think of after typing that last sentence is, did Donald Trump ever call anybody sugartits?