Wisconsin Wedding Week-Here Comes The Bride

Lost in all the confusion while I was off in Wisconsin recently to plead my undying love and all my wealth (snicker snicker) to Miss Madison, was the fact we had a few days to kill before the ceremonies were to commence.  So what do you get when you have the Skipah, Miss Madison and three wound up kids?  Some would call it a Tuesday evening (and you would be right), me, I call it Vacation-Cheesehead Style!

After a night in Milwaukee, we were off to Miss Madison’s family cottage nestled on the rocky crags of Green Bay in Door County, Wisconsin for a few days of relaxation (is that a thing with three kids..asking for a friend) before the wedding.  This is now the moment on this post were Skipah will stand on his soap box for a minute and wax poetically about something that has been troubling him.

Paging Governor Scott Walker, Congressman Glenn Grothman, Senators Tammy Baldwin & Ron Johnson, plus anybody else that is responsible for the cheese grater (pun intended you cheeseheads) that is known as Interstate 43 in eastern Wisconsin.  Are you on the payroll of Firestone, Goodyear, or Michelin?  I’m only asking because that stretch of road is literally the sorriest excuse for an interstate in this country!  Next time you think you have a flat tire, make sure you check your surroundings and didn’t end up on this interstate.  There is nothing better than driving 70 mph with what sounds like a shredded tire because your interstate is so poorly constructed.  

Before some drunk Green Bay Packers fan starts throwing their favorite Johnsonville Bratwurst at me, hear me out!  Other than that treacherous stretch of road that has to be funded by the tow trucker union, my time in Wisconsin was magical.  Since we had a wedding to plan, the Skipah was grounded this particular time on his legendary exploration missions.  There wasn’t any time this trip for another foray to Rock Island.  No worries though; memories and fun were in order leading up to the big day.

The wedding itself was picturesque and perfect!  (Except for the rabid species of flies that were dining on me like a seafood buffet.). Weather was superb, and this guy can’t begin to tell you how awestruck he was that we had friends fly in from California, other friends and family that drove 10 hours one way (on a good day-thank you Chicago traffic), and seeing everything come together in a span of six hours was amazing.

I held a lottery for my best man, but the only dude that bought a ticket was the Turtle Man.  He is six years old, drives me bonkers half the time, but this dude knew he had a job to do, and did it well!  He was in charge of the rings and I promised him a free swim in Green Bay if my Manly Bands ring finger bracelet wasn’t delivered properly.  Actually, I’m kidding, my new stepson is pretty damn funny!  Throw in Miss Madison Jr. delivering more snark than the law should allow and I’m truly blessed with a couple of awesome stepchildren!  

I even picked up a second best man that day.  Since I’m well known in the serpent world, the supreme serpent commander made sure to send one of his most trusted minions to oversee the wedding and give it his blessing.  That’s right, I got married with a snake literally a foot from me.  We had a kind conversation before everybody showed up, he went on eating whatever he could find on that rocky crag, and I got married!

The marriage is going so well Miss Madison immediately left me to go further her teaching acumen at a conference in Kansas City, I was told by my former employer that they would no longer need my services, and Sloane is off to “How to be a Hick” camp in Kentucky.  So now I’m working on my defunct resume skills, waking up to Breakfast at Wimbledon, and knocking off a list of honey-dos.

About it for now, with my new found status as a full time blogger I should have some free time to get back in the loop.  The unemployment series should be best selling (and hopefully temporary), but I’ve got the perfect people in my life now to get through this setback!


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  1. Thank you for sharing, very unique wedding, there are unique men’s and women’s wedding rings, maybe you will be interested. https://www.findurings.com/

  2. Congratulations! On the wedding. And the snake.

    As for the job, screw ’em. They never deserved you, anyway. You can do better.

  3. Congrat, Gary!!!! My son is getting married next week (EEK) and has always been our snake lover. Could you possibly send your 2nd best man to Michigan? 😉

  4. The wedding pictures look fab – I’m glad the day went swimmingly! The bride looked stunning, you scrubbed up well (as we say in the UK), & Sloane & Miss Madison Junior looked delightful in their dresses – what a gorgeous colour! I wish you all a very happy & healthy life together!

  5. The wedding looked perfect, I couldn’t be happier for you both!

  6. What a beautiful wedding! Wishing you the very best, always.

  7. Congrats on the wedding! Such beautiful pictures, thank you for sharing. Did not expect the serpent pictures, glad to know you felt blessed!

  8. Snakes and weddings just go together, right? Really sorry I missed it man, looked wonderful!

  9. Congrats again Gary. Thanks for sharing the photos. Just beautiful. 🙂

  10. Yay! Beautiful wedding photos Gary. Congrats again and I’m so happy that you both were able to get the whole family together.

  11. Lovely photos. It really does look like it was picture perfect 🙂
    Glad you didn’t snap and pics of the rabid fly species. Certainly glad one didn’t carry Sloane away. Dreadful.

  12. Congratulations on your happy day and wish all of you the very best! Enjoyed the post. Pictures are awesome. Particularly enchanted by the invited guest who decided to slither in. 🙂

  13. Oh Congrats, you! A lovely family has been brought together in a lovely place. 🙂 xxxxx

  14. Félicitations à vous 2 ( +3😉)
    Merci de partager toutes ces photos et ce moment spécial!
    Quelle indélicatesse de la part de tes employés! J’espère que tu trouveras bientôt une place où tu pourras t’épanouir professionnellement! Ici , en France, la législation du travail est telle que le licenciement est plus compliqué qu’aux USA!

  15. So glad you were smart enough to marry Ms. Madison. I’m just sorry I missed the serpent express or I would have been there!

  16. Congrats! Marriage is not an easy feat to undertake. I wish you all the joy and happiness in the world!

  17. Congratulations, Gary! So happy for you all! The photos are beautiful and everyone looks amazing! What a great adventure for you all! I can’t believe I’m nearing my 4th wedding anniversary with my hubby…late August. Time sure does fly! Hope you find work soon!

  18. Gary, Serpent and all, it looked like an amazing day! All the best to you and your beautiful bride.

  19. Congradulations again on finally managing to tie the knot! You have a great family with your wife, your daughter, and you step kids!

    Welcome to the unemployment world! haven’t held a paying job since my short stint at the evil conglomerate commonally referred to as Walmart. That mess led me to litterally prepare to commit suicide! Now that you are married, you DO NOT want to do that to your family!

  20. Congratulations! I wish you nothing but the best with your blended posse. I need to see more pictures however. Not really interested in what you wore. All eyes on the bride 🙂 Glad to know you had lovely weather for the ceremony. You both look very happy!

  21. Congrats, again, to the both of you! I wish you guys all the best. I’m sorry about your job though. I hope you find something very soon!

  22. Happy Family! Blessings and blissings my friends. <3

  23. … All dressed in white. Seriously, congratulations.

  24. Very many congratulations to you both! Here’s to a long and happy life together <3

  25. Yayyyyy congratulations. So happy and proud of you. Woot woot. Keep excelling. Wishing you two the greatest present and future overflowing in love.

  26. Congrats on the nuptials! I don’t think I could get married with a snake that close by. I’d call it a sign and leave as quickly as I could. What a crappy thing for your employer to let you go on your special day. Bosses can be pricks.

  27. Congratulations to you both. A day not to be forgotten
    ( not as long as you like your kneecaps where they are anyway).

  28. Your wedding photos are gorgeous!! I’m so glad the wedding went off without a hitch. Also I don’t know how feesible it would be for you to move a bit farther North with the kids but there are companies hiring like crazy all over the place in Indy. Even with my most recent work history being a stay at home mom I had to turn several offers down up this way. 🙂

  29. I’m still waiting for the definitive photo of the bride in her wedding dress which I have only had hints of and she looks beautiful in those..But geez, Gary, can’t we see the whole damn dress?

  30. Congrats and many happy years ahead as man and wife. It sucks that you’re going to be writing more😊 so all good for us selfish readers 😊

  31. Congratulations! Amazing how you started this blog to sound off from a divorce ages ago and now to a beautiful beginning. Quite a life journey. The best to you and your new family.

  32. I’m slightly disappointed it went without a hitch.
    Congratulations to you both. Wishing you a life full of happiness and Dr. Pepper.

  33. Really sorry to hear about your gig, but so happy for you two. Looks like it was a fantastic day. I wish y’all nothing but the best. 😊

  34. Congratulations!!! Wishing you all the best!! Everyone looks wonderful! Love that shade of green for the dresses and the yellow flowers. Beautiful!

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